MP Michael Fabricant has invited President-Elect Donald Trump to Lichfield for a masterclass in Wall building.
Following Trump’s shock success in the US presidential election Mr Fabricant sent his congratulations to the Republican usurper. Declaring Trump’s victory in November to be a “Western Spring”. He said:
‘I congratulated Donald on his impressive victory and invited him to Lichfield to show him how a carefully constructed imaginary Wall created in the minds of unwanted sections of a community can be as effective as any actual physical structure.’
Donald Trump wants to build an “impenetrable, physical, tall, powerful, beautiful, southern border wall” between the US and Mexico. The Republican victor’s big ideas have proven to be small on detail, and the wall is no exception. The US-Mexico border is almost 2,000 miles long and crosses all sorts of terrain from empty, dusty desert to the lush and rugged surroundings of the Rio Grande.
According to Mr Fabricant not only is the physical construction of such a wall a mammoth and costly engineering project, it is also unnecessary. He explained:
‘By vividly describing the wall during the election campaign many lazy Mexicans already believe that the structure exists and, preferring siestas to abseiling, will carry on raping and drug dealing in their own lands. It’s much the same in Burntwood which is itself beyond the Wall.’
Soon to be President Trump drew many parallels with Brexit during his campaign and harnessed the intellectual powers of UKIP’s odious recidivistic leader Nigel Fromage. Mr Trump admitted:
‘Sometimes all that the downtrodden, desperate and disenfranchised masses require is a leader of cunning, a demagogue who reads the waves of resentment and rides them to a popular victory. Well Hello there.’
Lichfield’s MP agreed:
‘Donald is basically a charismatic liar, selling the electorate an elaborate hoax of the utopian benefits of supporting his illusory world view.
‘Much the same was we did with Brexit. I’m the first person to stand up for our fantastic NHS, they’re doing a fantastic job already so do they really need that extra £350m a week? I don’t think so.’
When asked to comment on his invitation to Lichfield Mr Trump said:
‘I’m delighted that my idea of an imaginary wall has been implemented so effectively in Litchfield. I’ve never heard of this Fabricunt guy, but I’ll say this for him, he’s got great hair. Great hair.’