Lichfield District councillor Doug Pullem, Cabinet member for Community and the Blindingly Obvious has been tasked with communicating the blindingly obvious to local residents, councillors and council staff.
The Burntwood councillor has drawn up a Blindingly Obvious Report on the issue of vulnerable children and young adults which will be considered by the Council’s Cabinet at its meeting next month.
Councillor Pullem is no stranger to abuse, he said :
‘Being a livid ginger myself I was mocked as a child and now shunned as a vulnerable adult especially during summer holidays. But I harnessed that hatred to become a qualified barrister, fortunately one of the few professions where it is acceptable to wear a wig to work. Going forward I hope to trade in the horsehair for Michael Fabricunt’s luxuriant merkin as Conservative Parliamentary Candidate in 2020.’
The Blindingly Obvious Report is entitled:
‘If I See Signs of Abuse Should I Report It?’
Cllr Pullem explained:
‘Council staff have a key role to play in preventing abuse, my report of the Blindingly Obvious will provided an essential tool for navigating this minefield.’
A copy of the Blindingly Obvious report is available on the Council website, but for those who are short on time here is the executive summary:
The prolific polymath that is Cllr Pullem has also turned his attention to public safety during the festive season. He explained :
‘I’ve put together an easy to understand calendar of tips to get across important safety messages to the local hard of thinking, primarily aimed at my own constituents in Burntwood.’
The tips include not leaving shopping and presents unattended in the pub car park, not attaching petrol soaked rags to Christmas candles, not sticking fingers in plug sockets whilst bathing, not performing a sex acts with the Boxing Day ham and not taking taxis driven by potential suicide bombers.
The Cabinet member added:
‘The calendar worked well last year at getting across important safety messages to local idiots.
‘From Staffordshire Fire and Rescue Service to our own community health teams, lots of experts have contributed to the calendar to give a clear indication of planned dates for industrial action by the Fire Brigades Union and the junior doctors and lots of handy hints for DIY CPR over the Christmas period.’
The calendar is available from Lichfield District Council’s Frog Lane reception and venues across the district. More details are available online.
WESTMINSTER fire minister Penny Mordaunt praised the Fire Brigades Union today for demonstrating the capacity for further job cuts within the Fire and Rescue Service.
Visiting Lichfield today Ms Mordaunt said:
‘Staffordshire Fire and Rescue Service confirmed that they attended just nine incidents during the 24-hour Fire Brigades Union strike, which ended at 7am this morning. There were no incidents of note during the strike. The figures compare to 16 in 2014, 38 in 2013 and 39 in 2012. This clearly shows that by reducing the number of firefighters we are improving public safety.’
Chief Fire Officer Peter Dartford said:
‘Once again we have seen the Fire Brigades Union’s policy of strike action go up in smoke.
‘But I would like to thank local residents and motorists for not setting themselves alight nor deliberately crashing their vehicles when the strike was taking place.’
Local fire crew leader and self-employed plumber Scott Tracy commented:
‘It’s a challenging time for the lads. Job cuts will have a disastrous effect on our businesses and the public will notice a dramatic reduction in fire engine “drive-rounds” that we do in the summer months eyeing up the local talent.’
The FBU does however have plenty of support locally. Britney Singleton,19 year-old mother of five under fives from Burntwood said:
‘I’m absolutely gobsmacked, you don’t expect something like this to happen round here. I’ll definitely be supporting the “Tits Out for the Tenders” campaign. And I’ll sign another petition, provided it’s online mind.’
This was the 14th round of strike action to result in dramatic improvements in public safety since the dispute between the FBU and the Government began in September 2013. Minister Penny Mordaunt added:
‘The FBU action has proven to be so successful that when the demolition of the Lichfield Fire Station has been completed I will be recommending that the site be incorporated into the new Friarsgate shopping centre development that I understand is due to start any day now.’
People in Lichfield and are being urged to take extra care during the next round of strikes by firefighters.
Crews will walk out again between 6pm and 10pm on Saturday (December 14) as part of a dispute over pensions.
Chief Fire Officer Peter Dartford said:
“I am mindful that the industrial action is due to take place when many people will be enjoying Christmas parties or celebrations. While I am keen for people to have fun during the festivities, I would also urge revellers to be careful when they are out and about and to avoid cooking when they return home – why not have a meal out at one of the bars and restaurants in the city where many firefighters have second jobs and businesses.
“Likewise, if you are going to have a drink, stay safe, leave the car at home and take a taxi. There will be plenty available as many firefighters are also full time cabbies.
“If you’re having a night in, don’t leave lit candles unattended. Better still don’t light the candles and just enjoy your fairy lights but if they’re not working then please call a qualified electrician. However one may be hard to find on Saturday night as most FBU members don’t have any qualifications.”
Officer Dartford thanked local residents for their support and reminded everyone: “If you need your car or windows cleaned you know where to come.”