Don Palmer

Ex-Conservative councillor “transitions” and stands as a Labour candidate in Stowe by-election

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In a dramatic move renegade Conservative ex-councilor Joanne Grange is standing in the Stowe ward by-election as her alter ego, the ‘70’s Labour activist Don Palmer.

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Ms Granger commented:

‘It’s an open secret in my family that at the weekends I will often don a donkey jacket, pull on a pair of monkey boots and head into town for a chat and a few pints with the local common folk. I’ve found that the lads in Scales and the Angel are more prepared to listen to the rantings of Don, the left wing bloke from the ’70’s than the insane ramblings of a middle-aged, middle-class Tory NIMBY.’

Joe Grange quit the Tory-controlled Lichfield District Council and tore up her Conservative entitlement card after criticising the way planning rules are being applied. Local planning officer Paul Mycock spoke to 5SL off the record, he said:

‘We cracked open a bottle of Newkie Brown in the office when we heard that Cllr Grange-Hill had resigned. She was a typical newly-elected councillor, thinking that she could change decades of institutionalised incompetence overnight. A real pain in the arse to be honest. We didn’t expect it of a Conservative councillor, most of them either don’t turn up or nod through Cabinet decisions or just simply nod-off.’

Acting Council Leader Mike Wilcox has recently returned to “work” after a period of compassionate leave following the untimely death of his own alter ego the Chuckle Brothers, Barry Chuckle.

He said:

‘I very much regret that Jo has resigned as councillor, if only she had tried to contact me and opened a dialogue, a meeting or an email would have sufficed. And, if she had, which she didn’t, if only I had replied, then all of this nonsense could have been avoided.

‘I would have explained to her that as a Conservative councillor your job is to turn up (optional), vote for everything I say and collect your expenses. How difficult can that be? I did notice that she appeared at a recent planning meeting after resigning, that is most unwelcome and evidence of mental instability. However I wish Don well in the bi-election.

‘And yes, I miss Barry.’

District Council Labour group leader Cllr Sue Norman was delighted to to discover that candidate Don Palmer is none other than Tory blue rinse Joanne Grange. She said:

‘Does anyone remember that I was a close adviser to Tony Blair back in the day?

‘Back in the day when Labour was a credible, electable, socially liberal and progressive party? Remember that? No, neither do I.

‘Anyway, we are a Broadchurch, if the only way Labour can win an election is to embrace a transitioning Conservative then so be it.

‘If it’s good enough for Dr Who it’s good enough for me.’

The full list of candidates for the 27 September 2018 poll is available somewhere else.

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