Lichfield MP wears a blindfold to avoid contact with constituents 

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Lichfield MP Michael Fabricant has taken to wearing a blindfold when out in public in order to reduce any possible contact with his constituents

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Michael Fabricant avoiding eye contact with constituents

Mr Fabricant has had a hearing problem for many years, turning a deaf ear to any local issues that do not interest him. In a candid interview with 5SL the MP said:

‘Unless something is likely to impact on my travel arrangements to London, or there is an opportunity to take credit for the successful outcome for a campaign that I have not been involved with, or I can promote of the activities of the West Midlands mayor; then quite frankly I’m not interested.

‘One of the major drawbacks of returning to LichVegas is that my taxpayer-funded long weekends are often disrupted by constituents coming up to me in cafe Nero asking me to do my job.

‘Look, I’ve sorted out Burntwood health centre, I’ve saved the MIU at Samuel Johnson hospital, I’ve secured M&S as anchor tenant for Friarsgate and I will shortly be announcing how I single handedly obtained funding for the Lichfield Southern Bypass. What more do you want?

‘All I ask is that I be allowed to walk unmolested from my grace and favour apartment in Cathedral Close in search of a skinny latte. If the only way to do that is to remove my hearing aid and wear a blindfold when out in public, then so be it.’

Local plumber and Labour activist Paul Mycock is unimpressed, he said:

‘I’m unimpressed. If it isn’t bad enough that he has no interest in his constituents, he adds insult to injury by doing a very poor impersonation of David Bowie’s Lazarus.

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Michael Fabricant tribute act

‘Talk about raising the dead, he’ll need to start practicing the art of necromancy just to keep his majority with the average age of Lichfield Conservative voters now topping 98.’

‘Jesus wept.’

Any constituents who have been unable to contact their MP will be able to see him by tuning in to Celebrity First Date on Channel 4 on Thursday 2 November at 10pm.

 

 

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One thought on “Lichfield MP wears a blindfold to avoid contact with constituents 

    Mike knivht said:
    October 25, 2017 at 8:15 pm

    Definatley spoof Michael was taking part in a walk fir sight awareness organised by Lichfield Lions Club part if the wirkds largest Charuty whi h has been in Lichfield for over 40 years helping lkcal people in need with the helo of the citizens of Lichfield through the generiusity with donations Sigh awareness invilved over 50 people some blind majority blindfolded to experience what it is to be blind we thank Michael for taking part to polite to make comment on spoof writer

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