Lichfield Councillor appointed as Cabinet member for the Blindingly Obvious

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Lichfield District councillor Doug Pullem, Cabinet member for Community and the Blindingly Obvious  has been tasked with communicating the blindingly obvious to local residents, councillors and council staff.

The Burntwood councillor has drawn up a Blindingly Obvious Report on the issue of vulnerable children and young adults which will be considered by the Council’s Cabinet at its meeting next month.

Councillor Pullem is no stranger to abuse, he said :

‘Being a livid ginger myself  I was mocked as a child and now shunned as a vulnerable adult especially during summer holidays. But I harnessed that hatred to become a qualified barrister, fortunately one of the few professions where it is acceptable to wear a wig to work. Going forward I hope to trade in the horsehair for Michael Fabricunt’s luxuriant merkin as Conservative Parliamentary Candidate in 2020.’

The Blindingly Obvious Report is entitled:

‘If I See Signs of Abuse Should I Report It?’

Cllr Pullem explained:

‘Council staff have a key role to play in preventing abuse, my report of the Blindingly Obvious will provided an essential tool for navigating this minefield.’

A copy of the Blindingly Obvious report is available on the Council website, but for those who are short on time here is the executive summary:

‘Yes’

The prolific polymath that is Cllr Pullem has also turned his attention to public safety during the festive season. He explained :

‘I’ve put together an easy to understand calendar of tips to get across important safety messages to the local hard of thinking, primarily aimed at my own constituents in Burntwood.’

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The tips include not leaving shopping and presents unattended in the pub car park, not attaching petrol soaked rags to Christmas candles, not sticking fingers in plug sockets whilst bathing, not performing a sex acts with the Boxing Day ham and not taking taxis driven by potential suicide bombers.

The Cabinet member added:

‘The calendar worked well last year at getting across important safety messages to local idiots.

‘From Staffordshire Fire and Rescue Service to our own community health teams, lots of experts have contributed to the calendar to give a clear indication of planned dates for industrial action by the Fire Brigades Union and the junior doctors and lots of handy hints for DIY CPR over the Christmas period.’

The calendar is available from Lichfield District Council’s Frog Lane reception and venues across the district. More details are available online.

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