‘Lord Prescott is not my father,’ claims Labour candidate

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LABOUR Parliamentary candidate for Lichfield and Burntwood 2015 general election  has been forced to deny that Lord John Prescott of Hull is his biological father.

Chris Worsey said:

‘Ever since my selection, rumours have been circulating about my parentage. I can categorically deny that John Prescott ever had congress with my mother.’

Mr Worsey, 17, grew up near Great Wyrley and played cricket. He is currently part-way through an ‘A’ Level course in Career Politics at Sandwell College. He added:

‘I would be proud to represent Lichfield, a fantastic historic City with a fine tradition for Morris dancing. I hope to visit one day.’

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Lord Prescott’s acknowledged son David Prescott failed in his father’s bid for him to become the parliamentary candidate for Greenwich and Woolwich. His Lordship commented:

‘David has been a great disappointment to me and his mother, whoever she may be. But you have to move on in public life and young Chris Worsey is a great fellow. I clearly remember passing through West Brom in the ‘90’s so there’s a good chance that we are related. Needless to say, I was instrumental in his selection.’

Mr Worsey’s reluctance to acknowledge his ancestry is understandable. Once considered to be an advantage, the offspring of famous political parents now view their linage to be more of a hindrance.

Highly tipped to stand for a safe Labour seat in 2015, son of former Prime Minister and alleged war criminal, Euan Blair has not had the courage to put his head above the political parapet. City banker Blair Jnr commented:

‘If it could be guaranteed that I would move straight into a ministerial post, become Prime Minister within 5 years, shag a press baron’s missus and then retire to become a multimillionaire on the world public speaking circuit, then yes, maybe. But a constituency MP, with Friday surgeries for ‘local’ people with drainage worries?  I don’t think so.’

Local Labour party activists however have a different perspective on the influence of political families. Brownhills activist Jim Hardman said:

‘Euan Blair didn’t get selected through choice but because, as Tony’s son he is, how do they say down south? Toxic.’

Not every child of the famous have fared so badly. Will Straw, son of former Foreign Secretary Jack Straw has been selected as Labour candidate for Rossendale and Darwen in Lancashire. Jim Hardman commented:

‘That was a slightly different case, as a former cannabis seller Will Straw is an established character in his own right. Most people don’t remember Jack Straw, I showed a photo of him at a meeting recently and a few said they thought they recognised him, but only as the guy from ‘Wycliffe’ who was in that play at the Lichfield Garrick last week.’

Other ‘dynastic’ children have changed their name to escape the curse. Only after selection for Lewisham did Joe Dromey admit that his mother is in fact 2015 Labour leader Harriet Harman, he said:

 

‘It’s bad enough having Jack ‘Pikey’ Dromey, Labour MP for Birmingham Erdington and former trade union baron, as a father, but if everyone had known about my mom I’d be dead in the water. At least no one has ever heard of Dad, apart from the Daily Mail and the Metropolitan Police’

Chris Worsey commented:

‘Sorry, but I thought this article was supposed to be all about me?’

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Anyone who may have been affected by the Lichfield and Burntwood Labour Party selection process can contact http://www.patient.co.uk/health/insomnia-poor-sleep/support . The lines are open from 10pm to 7am.

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