Regal Lichfield group unveils plans for a new City cinema

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Regal Lichfield, the community project group behind the ill-fated bid to restore the old Regal Cinema in Lichfield back to its former glory, has unveiled plans for another new cinema project in the City.

 

Lichfield resident Barry Norton of Friary Road is unimpressed, he said:

 

‘I was astonished to receive a letter this week from Lichfield District Council’s planning department.’

 

He continued:

 

‘It enclosed notice of a planning application to convert my garage into a six seater cinema with Dolby surround sound. I don’t know anything about it and there certainly wouldn’t be any room in there for my lawn mower, judging from the plans. I called the Council and they said that there had been no objections and that the application was likely to be successful.’

 

Regal Lichfield are delighted at the likely success of their application following on from their failed campaign to rejuvenate the former ‘Kwik Save’ in Tamworth Street. Project leader Anna Coley recalled:

 

‘We held an inaugural meeting of deluded local busybodies with time on their hands in May last year and at the  end of the seven hour session we produced some minutes, divided ourselves into working groups, created a website, a twitter and a facebook account and then proceeded to disappear up our own arses.’

 

This time around they have decided to embark on a less ambitious project with a conversion cost of around £15,000. Ms Coley enthused:

 

‘It will initially be just a six seater cinema, there  is ample parking on Mr Norton’s drive provided that he parks his car on the roadside during performances. We should easily be able to accommodate every committee member if we split ourselves between five or six showings a week.’

 

Asked about the practicalities of the conversion fellow committee member Dave Simcox, a plumber from Lichfield Arts said:

 

‘What we lack in terms of finance, business plan, common sense or consent of the actual property owner, we more than make up for in enthusiasm, as the Regal project itself clearly demonstrated. I can’t wait for the first performance.’

 

Mr Norton though may well hold the winning hand:

 

‘Mrs Norton has said that she would quite like a cinema in the garage, so we may well implement the planning ourselves now that Regal have spent £2,000 on the application fees. But as far as they themselves are concerned, they can fuck off.’

 

Anyone interested in the success of Regal Lichfield can catch up with them on their website at www.regallichfield.org

 

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