‘Pandora jewellery is a shit present’ claim throws Lichfield men into Christmas Eve turmoil

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pandora christmas

Lichfield resident Mick Brown had his world turned upside down today when his wife declared Pandora products were ‘crap’.


The 35-year old self-employed decorator explained:


‘Me and Vicky have been together since we met at school. Over the years it got more and more difficult to think of anything a little bit different or special for her, the low point was the steam iron in 2008.


‘Then along came Pandora and all my problems were over. Every Christmas, birthday, Valentine’s Day, anniversary and the day after a stag weekend, I knew that all I had to do was to go along to the Pandora shop and choose a couple of random charms for her bracelet. She was always delighted.’


Mick’s friend Pete Adams fears he may have the same problem:


’The girls had a night out last Friday and, according to my missus, the first bottle of Chardonnay slipped down easily enough and then Vicky went all moody, started fiddling with the beads on her Pandora bracelet and burst into tears. “Expensive tat bought by unimaginative, thoughtless, selfish, lazy bastards, that’s what this Pandora crap is, and to think I’ve fallen for it all these years” she sobbed. As soon as heard that I knew Mick was in big trouble.’


Pandora bracelets,introduced in 2008, have a patented threading system that allows over priced and aesthetically questionable charms to be placed, added and rearranged to create a cheap looking bracelet with a staggering value, when complete, of over £1,000. According to some commentators they are the modern day equivalent of the expensive heavy yellow gold bangles and necklaces worn by the heavily tanned affluent but tasteless ‘new moneyed’ class of the 1980’s and 90’s.

Local Pandora stockist ES Jewellery of Lichfield are concerned. Proprietors Emma and Steve said:


‘Yes, we’ve had a really great run up to Christmas and, yes we have been able to pay off the mortgage on our second home. But if this sort of view gains traction it could have serious implications for our plans for the French villa.’


‘It’s even worse than that,’added Steve and Emma,’if Pandora goes out of fashion we may have to go back to being proper jewellers again.’


The shops are now closed for Christmas and Mick is in trouble.


If you have been affected by this report contact Birmingham Law Society on 0121 237 6004
 who can recommend good matrimonial solicitors.


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